Uncommon Contest: Surreal Dinner Party


Here at ‘Uncommon Sense’ we’re all about being wise, but we’re also prone to having a little fun, as well. (Have you ever noticed that?) On yesterday’s show we devised a neat contest with winner to be announced on November 2nd’s ‘Tsunami Tuesday’ show.

Here’s the deal:

We’d like to see your top 10 list of folks from history, living or dead, you’d like to have over for an evening of fun, food and good chat. There’s only one Person you can’t use, and that’s the Lord Jesus Christ, else we’d all have a remaining list of 9 potentially different people…!! (The Cleaner & the Parson are exempt from this one, lest any bias be suspected.)

The winner not only gets bragging rights, but the Parson’s latest, greatest most favoritist book – Portraits of Success: Candid Conversations with 60 Over-Achievers by Burt Prelutsky.

So list your top 10, the judges (likely Cadillac Carole Wilson and Sister Grammar Karen Peterson) anxiously await your entries! Also, assume you can communicate with your chosen ones, even if they spoke/speak a different language.

Finally, please join us Tuesday November 2nd at the Grace Gospel Fellowship for an evening of absolute pleasure of the allowable kind. It will be ‘Shadenfreude’ for us, as Rachel Maddow, Chris ‘Tingle’ Matthews, Kieth Olbermann and at the very least Ed ‘Sgt.’Schultz (if they even let him near a camera that night) are sure to be at the depths of their misery, and we’ll be loving every second of it. Should be a memorable evening!

Good luck to all,

The Cleaner…



  1. Bill Ward /


    Martha Stewart I could tolerate (barely). But if you chose that Rick Bayless guy from PBS I’d have to excuse myself.

  2. Bill Ward /


    -are the 8)’s haunted

  3. Bill Ward /

    It won’t go away. DeTouquville is cool, but not that cool. If the cool face appears again after I submit this, I will consider this site haunted.

    Here goes

  4. Bill Ward /

    This time without the mistyped cool face. Sorry.
    Once again, the winning entry is………..
    In order of appearance on earth:

    1) Enoch
    2) Abraham
    3) Solomon
    4) Socrates
    5) John the Baptist
    6) Samuel Adams
    7) Thomas Jefferson
    8) Alexis DeTouquville
    9) Ayn Rand – with much care taken to place her at the opposite end of the table from John the Baptist
    10) Dennis Prager

    Alternate guest: -in case Ayn Rand refuses to show
    Martin Short (just for the entrance)

  5. Bill Ward /

    In order of appearance on earth:

    1) Enoch
    2) Abraham
    3) Solomon
    4) Socrates
    5) John the Baptist
    6) Samuel Adams
    7) Thomas Jefferson
    8) Alexis DeTouquville
    9) Ayn Rand – with much care taken to place her at the opposite end of the table from John the Baptist
    10) Dennis Prager

    Alternate guest: -in case Ayn Rand refuses to show
    Martin Short (just for the entrance)

  6. rob philgren /

    I purposely left out my late family and treated it like we did Jesus, because I assumed everyone might have alot of them on their list if this was truly a real gift from God.

  7. rob philgren /

    1. Noah-would love to know about the fallen angels
    2. apostle Paul
    3. King Solomon
    4. Adam- so many questions
    5. James the brother of our Lord
    6. Marilyn Monroe
    7. Queen Esther
    8. Sarai or Sarah
    9. Bill Maher- just to hear him respond
    10. John Adams

  8. John Cronin /

    Wow, interesting…..here goes

    1. Peter
    2. Mary
    3. Adam and Eve, as the first couple, I count them as one. Deal with it.
    4. Paul
    5. Charles Martel..not a Frenchman but a French MAN
    6. General Joshua
    7. General Patton
    8. my father, who died 2 years before I trusted Christ
    9. Jimmy Stewart, humble Christian warrior who flew combat missions in WW2 and at least one mission in the Vietnam War (where his adopted son was killed in battle by the communists). A modest, faithful follower of Christ who was a master at his craft, even his enemies found nothing bad to say about him!
    10. Paul Sadler…I want him to defend his quote “John Kirkwood has changed his church from a DISPENSATIONAL assembly to a political action committee.”

    If I could add to the list, I would say the Founding Fathers as well.

  9. lukehamilton /

    Reading is a skill? Is imagining a skill too? When did you mention parking cars and Martha Stewart in the same sentence?

    You’re going Liberal on us and changing the rules after we start. So now one of our guests has to prepare the meal? If not, why waste a spot with the cook? You could’ve added Fergie or Favre instead.

  10. John Kirkwood /

    I guess I have to coin a new phrase “reading is a skill.” It’s clear brother Stage that Martha Stewart is there to park cars and then serve the meal. Good luck with your meal; I love Abigail Adams but rumor has it, she’s no Betsy Ross. As for all the love for Edison; I have to side with brother Nashville and go Tesla. Quite frankly I’d have to watch my silverware around Edison and as my sons would say “Tesla Owns dude.” I do regret I didn’t give John Milton some love though. Anyway, maybe next time we’ll do a 10 person barbecue contest.

  11. lukehamilton /

    How did I know that the Cleaner would have a list of 10+? And all dudes?? Do your guests have to give a palm-tickle salute to get in the front door? sheesh..

    Parson, Parson, Parson. Brownie points for the marital invite, but MARTHA STEWART? Can she bring her cell-mate? How can you even include her on the same list as Wendy, the Iron Lady, and Golda?

    I only included one Biblical character, although like you all I know I could’ve filled my list with them.

    – George Washington
    – Thomas Edison
    – William Shakespeare
    – Plato
    – Paul, formerly of Tarsus
    – C.H. Spurgeon
    – Betsie ten Boom
    – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
    – Abigail Adams
    – Stonewall Jackson

  12. Let’s rule out bible characters in my case because it would include all and meeting even one alone would be too much for me to bear. I’d totally lose it!

    Good that you excused yourself because you and your dad would top my list. Also ruling out classic American heroes because that’s too obvious though surely would be fascinating to sup with the likes of Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Lincoln, et all. Not to mention preachers like Whitfield, Martin Luther, Edwards, Moody, Finney, etc.

    Here goes:

    Thomas Edison one of my all time heroes!

    Rush Limbaugh because DUH!

    Any Beatle because of their huge influence on generations in hopes of persuading them that Christ is the Real Love!

    Sarah Palin because of the obvious. (Get your thoughts right guys.) Sure she’s a babe and the “Marilyn Monroe” of conservative Christian based American politcs and will be a force to be reoconned with for years to come. Plus I’d just love to make her smile and think she liked me!

    My Father who passed when I was 19 years old because I wonder if he would recognize his son today and in hopes that he would be proud of me now 60 years old having out lived him.

    My Mother who passed 10 years ago to tell her that I am happy and loved and will always be ok because of Christ.

    Loved ones lost to suicide, aids, or natural causes, sadly too numerous to mention, so that I could have another chance to be sure they found salvation in Jesus Christ were it possible to turn back time.

    Aside from my love for those passed who’s salvation may be in question, I most desire to meet personally with people in positions of great influence over many in hope that my testimony would persuade them that Jesus is the Christ and that their witness would all the much more confidently be emboldened.

    I’ve been privileged to have already known personally many amazing people from whom I gleaned much, both the famous and the obscure. The above list includes some living and some that have passed I’ve never met and earnestly hope to greet in heaven.

  13. For fun, I would add Johnny Depp, if he promises not to talk.

  14. John Kirkwood /

    I think we’ll have to have an award for the strangest, most esoteric entries as well. The leading ones so far:
    1. Elvis would never go to an all guy dinner party (nice one cleaner) why don’t you go the whole ten yards and have it at a bath house.
    2. Sacagewhat? Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, don’t you know you can’t have Sacajawea without inviting Teddy Roosevelt. If you would’ve invited Ben Stiller he could’ve helped you with that.
    3. What are you smoking Artskoe? Your list is like a Rorshach test. Are you really going to stiff Stan Laurel? That’s like serving Peanut Butter without the Jelly (of course then you could invite Elvis).
    4. Shinah Person, I don’t know where to start. Are you new to the show? Perhaps you should invite Jim Jones and let him bring some Kool-Aid, at least for guests 1,6,7 & 8.
    In Christian Love (inside joke alert)
    The Sinister Minister

  15. Artskoe /

    I left off the Bible ones since we will meet them anyway…

    In no particular order:
    General Lew Wallace
    Daniel Boone
    Christopher Columbus
    William, Prince of Orange
    Claudette Colbert
    Satchel Page
    Oliver Hardy
    Sam Walton
    Theodor Herzl

  16. Aaron Mrozik /

    Wooo Hooo, sooooooooo Here goes:

    1. Joshua
    2. Ben Franklin
    3. Robert Johnson
    4. William Faulkner
    5. Nikolai Tesla (assuming he’s not really weirded out)
    6. The accused adulterous woman brought before Jesus
    7. Robert E. Lee
    8. Charles Bukowski (A terribly great poet if you don’t know him)
    9. Sacajawea
    10. Ruth

    This is fun.

  17. Sister Mushy /

    The Young Dinner Party Guest List:
    Apostle John
    Michael the Arch Angel
    Thomas Jefferson
    Ronald Reagan
    Paul Revere
    El Rushbo
    Buss Aldrin

    On the waiting List:
    Diva and CF
    Bruno Vascotchovich
    Stephen Meyer
    Benjamin Netanyahu
    Mary -the mother of our Lord
    Steve Malmsteen -hee hee hee
    CS Lewis
    The Hutch
    Martina Mcbride

  18. If I could have 11, I’d ad C.S. Lewis. OK, maybe I need to replace Madeleine L’Engle with him, since the breadth and depth of his writing surpasses her; OK, I’m doing it. Please replace Madeleine L’Engle with C.S. Lewis for my entry.

    And by the way, you guys have spelled Michele Bachmann incorrectly on this page. It is not “Michelle Bachmann”. What kind of MB fans are you, anyway?

  19. Shinah H. Person /

    1. Joel Osteen

    2. Jabez

    3. James the brother if Jesus

    4. The good Samaritan

    5. Beth Moore

    6. Rick Warren

    7. James McDonald

    8. Gregory Dickow

    9. John the disciple

    10. Michael W. Smith

  20. 1) Corrie Ten Boom (“There is no pit so deep, that He is not deeper still”, author of THE HIDING PLACE)

    2) Thomas Jefferson

    3) Sharron Angle (OK, I can have dinner with her now, but I would still invite her)

    4) Sarah Palin

    5) Michele Bachmann

    6) Deborah (of Judges 4 fame)

    7) Jael (of Judges 4 fame)

    8) My late brother, Eric

    9) David Barton

    10) Madeleine L’Engle (author of A WRINKLE IN TIME)

  21. Tina D /

    In no particular order

    1. Ronald Reagan

    2. Winston Churchill

    3. Ethan Allen

    4. Deborah (Judges)

    5. My late biological mother who died when I was five

    6. Bathsheba (Proverbs 31)

    7. Thomas Jefferson

    8. Laura Ingalls Wilder (for her opposition to FDR’s New Deal among other things)

    9. Benjamin Netanyahu

    10. Lydia (Acts)

    The complete guest list for my dinner party is available upon request.

  22. John Kirkwood /

    The Parson’s Top Ten:

    1. Ronald Reagan – “All great change in America begins at the dinner table.”
    2. Moses – “Let my people go”
    3. Golda Meir – “Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!”
    4. Margaret Thatcher – “If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn’t swim.”
    5. Winston Churchill – “Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I’d poison your tea.
    Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.”
    6. Paul the Apostle – “For I am not ashamed of the gospel: it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith, to the Jew first and also to the Greek”
    7. Oscar Wilde – “And the wild regrets and the bloody sweats none knew so well as I; for he who lives more lives than one, more deaths than one must die.”
    8. John the Apostle – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
    9. Wendy Mae Gustafson – “John, tuck in your shirt … and don’t eat that one, I think it has gluten in it”
    10. Martha Stewart-“Attention everyone, Dinner is served.”

    P.S. Did anyone notice how the Cleaner just can’t follow the rules. I believe we settled on 10 guests; yet what can one expect from the Author of 10 Things Christians Take For Granted … in 22 parts.

  23. davesteiger /

    Cleaner’s Top Ten Guests for an Evening of Fun, Food & Chat

    This was off the top of my head after a fine dinner of chicken tacos:

    1. King Leonidas

    2. Mark Steyn

    3. Isaac Newton

    4. The Apostle Paul

    5. Leonardo Da Vinci

    6. Charles Darwin

    7. The KING – Elvis Presley

    8. King David

    9. Plato

    10. Dr. Stephen Meyer

    …and nearly making the list were…

    11. Waldo, only because I want to know that he’s okay!

    12. Putin – just because he’s Putin.

    Oh Lord, I just realized there’s no women on my list, please, mercy..!!

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